19 August 2007

Election 2007

First off, apologies to all for my seemingly long delay in updating my blog. Due to many late nights carousing Germany's capital and the onset of a cold, I have been trying to sleep as much as possible. Even my latest reading endeavor has been put on hold for a while. But in the excitement of the pre-2008 election and the emotions (rejoicing or resigned) concerning the early departures of Bush's better halves, Rove and Snow, I decided it was time to stir up a distinctly European election. Namely, the capital of France versus the capital of Germany. The election will be decided based upon one city's point accumulation after competing in several categories. So here are the results:

Architecture - The winner is clearly Paris. Every street corner is coffee mug, t-shirt, or postcard material; the incredible number of odd-angled streets can easily leave a visitor clueless for hours, yet you will never lack something to look at. Berlin's "Wirtschaftwunder" (Economic miracle) in the 1960's coincided with an ugly time in modern architecture, leaving most of Berlin (read the parts which were destroyed at the end of WWII) lacking an engendering aesthetic. However, both Kreuzberg's untouched early 20th Century boulevards and the modern skyscrapers around Potsdamer Platz add some sophistication to the urban landscape. Berlin 0-1 Paris

Aura - Once again, Paris takes the gateau (French for cake). Whether modern chic or Lord Byron bohemian wannabe, one can make Paris their own. Intellectuals can feel Voltaire and Hugo in the breeze, and American tourists can hardly hide their jealousy that we lack such a city. Berlin's graffiti is easily the city's greatest dissapointment. While French bohemians prefer to quote Wilde and delve into existentialism, the Berlin underground is an aimless angst which borders on pathetic. Berlin 0-2 Paris

Fashion - That being said, the Berlin underground spends much more time shopping for outrageous outfits instead of reading Goethe or Hegel, making for an eclectic and decidely hip fashion. German boys continue to suprise me with their hairstyles (some of them are unfathomable in the US) while German girls can create a workable color palette of black, green and white for an entire wardrobe. Berlin 1-2 Paris

Gastronomy - While Paris took the Aura gateau, Berlin takes the Kuchen in the food category. Paris is littered with cheap crepe stands, all with the same menus, and overpriced döner kebaps. Berlin, however, not only has crepe stands but real tasty döner. Currywurst or go Greek? A question which perplexes the sidewalk diner in Berlin. Berlin 2-2 Paris

Money Matters - If Parisians coined the phrase "put your two cents in" it would have been "put your two euros in". The Wallet Monster should be the subtitle to every travel guide about the city of love. I created two measures of cost during my trip, a scoop of ice cream and a Döner kebap. A scoop of ice cream costs somewhere from €.50-€1 in Berlin, depending on size and quality. In Paris you couldn't even buy the napkin for that much, rather one should be ready to shell out €2.50 for a little taste of Rocky Road. The Turkish pork gyro, beloved by Germans of all types, offers the same advice: "Why spend €5 in Paris, when you could spend €1.60 in Berlin?" Berlin 3-2 Paris

Size - B for Big and P for Petite. Berlin begins with a B, and Paris with a P! Coincidence, I think not. Paris is walkable, Berlin is, well, not. While I wouldn't call traversing the Champs-Elysees all the way to the Eiffel Tower a walk in the park, one can manage to see much of the city in a long afternoon. Berlin presents a rather different problem. There are several sightseeing meccas in the city, none of which are in walking distance of the other. Gigantic parks are situated right in the thick of Berlin, while the Bois de Bologne (Paris's largest forest) are on the outskirts of town. With the agreement of my tired feet, I award the laurels to Paris's compactness. Berlin 3-3 Paris

Tourism Friendly - With a mascot like Knut the Polar Bear, how could anyone not feel welcome in Berlin? The 3rd most visited EU city, Berlin caters to the ignorant American and blitz-touring Chinese with a heaping portion of Gemütlichkeit (hospitality). When is the last time you ever heard a traveler call Berliners snobbish like they do the Parisians? Notice JFK had the sense not to say he was a Parisian, instead he opted to say the grammatically incorrect "Ich bin ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner). With just a few words of German, you will get a free beer from a nice local; with a few words of French, you get an ugly stare and the experience of French-butchered English. Berlin 4-3 Paris

Transportation - Thank God for the Metro. Paris' subway system makes 2+2=4 seem like quantam physics, it's so easy. One purple ticket gets you from point A to point B, with train changes taking 5 minutes at the most. The only drawback is the 1am curfew. Berlin's plus is the €2.10 ticket is good for every means of transportation (suburban trains, subways, streetcars, buses) for two hours, whereas Paris' purple ticket is only good for one trip and costs €1.50. My issue with Berlin is that because of its size, any trip will require utilizing every type of transportation, which can mean 20 to 25 minutes waits at a bus stop or subway station. In the time I took to write this paragraph, two Line 6 trains heading to Nation would have passed by, securing Paris as the transportation victor. Berlin 4-4 Paris

But a tie, that can't be. In that case, Paris and Berlin sue each other and the case is taken to the Supreme Court. Presiding is Chief Justice Michael Arnst, the court uses the 2000 election as a precedent and decides a tie is not a tie and denies all appeals for overtime. Therefore, a decision must be made, Paris or Berlin. If only there were Miami-Dade ballots to recount . . . drumroll please . . . the winner is . . . Paris. The City of Lights may be a little expensive and cliche, but every visitor wishes it were home, including this writer.

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